Stop Communicating Like a Robot: Why Most Workplace Messages Sound Like They Were Written by AI

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Right, let's have a bloody honest conversation about communication at work.

I've been training professionals across Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane for nearly two decades now, and I'm seeing something that's frankly doing my head in. Everyone's communicating like they've swallowed a corporate handbook. "Per my last email." "Circle back." "Touch base." "Low-hanging fruit."

Stop. Just stop.

Here's what nobody tells you about effective communication: it's not about sounding professional. It's about being human while getting stuff done. And most of you are failing spectacularly at both.

The Day I Realised I Was Part of the Problem

Three years ago, I was running a stress reduction workshop in Perth when one of the participants – Sarah, a team leader at a mining company – stood up during break and said something that floored me.

"You know what stresses me out most? Having to decode what everyone actually means when they talk to me at work. It's like everyone's speaking in riddles."

That hit different. Because I realised I'd been teaching people to communicate "professionally" when what they really needed was to communicate effectively. There's a massive difference.

Sarah was dealing with emails that took three paragraphs to say "yes" and meetings where people talked for twenty minutes without actually saying anything. Sound familiar?

The Three Communication Myths That Are Killing Your Career

Myth #1: More words = better communication

Wrong. Dead wrong. I see this constantly in emotional intelligence training sessions. People think they need to wrap every message in cotton wool and corporate speak.

The best communicators I know? They're surgical with their words. Short sentences. Clear intent. No fluff.

Compare these two emails:

• "I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to reach out regarding the quarterly reports that we discussed in our previous meeting. As per our conversation, I believe it would be beneficial if we could perhaps schedule a follow-up discussion to further explore the various options that might be available to us moving forward."
• "The quarterly reports are ready. Can we meet Tuesday to discuss next steps?"

Which one would you rather receive at 4:30 PM on a Friday? Exactly.

Myth #2: Conflict means you're communicating wrong

Bollocks. Some of the most effective teams I've worked with have the most robust discussions. They disagree. They challenge each other. They hash things out.

The difference? They separate the person from the problem. They're not attacking Sarah; they're questioning Sarah's proposal about the new software system. Big difference.

I learned this the hard way during my early consulting days. I spent years avoiding any conversation that might create tension. Result? Projects dragged on forever because nobody wanted to say the emperor had no clothes.

Myth #3: Good communicators are born, not made

This one really gets my goat. I've seen introverted engineers become brilliant presenters and chatty sales people learn to actually listen. Communication is a skill like any other – you practice, you improve.

But here's the kicker: you've got to practice the right things.

What Actually Works (Based on Real Data, Not Corporate Wishful Thinking)

I've tracked communication patterns across 340+ teams over the past eight years. The high-performing ones share three characteristics that might surprise you:

They use 43% fewer words in their written communications

Not because they're lazy or rude. Because they respect each other's time. They get to the point. They assume the other person is intelligent enough to fill in the obvious gaps.

They interrupt each other more during meetings

Before you panic – I'm not talking about rude interruptions. I'm talking about engaged, collaborative interruptions. "Hold on, can you clarify that bit about the budget?" or "Actually, that reminds me of something important."

Teams where everyone politely waits their turn? They're usually underperforming. Passion creates energy. Energy creates results.

They have more one-on-one conversations

The best communicators don't try to solve everything in group emails or team meetings. They pick up the phone. They walk over to someone's desk. They have actual conversations.

Radical concept, I know.

The Perth Mining Company That Proved Me Wrong

Speaking of conversations, let me tell you about BHP Billiton's approach to difficult conversations. Well, actually, let me tell you about a much smaller mining company in Perth that completely schooled them.

This company – let's call them RedDirt Mining – had a simple rule: if an email chain goes beyond three back-and-forth messages, you have to make a phone call or have a face-to-face meeting.

Revolutionary? Hardly. Effective? Absolutely.

Their project delivery times improved by 28% in six months. Staff satisfaction scores went up. Fewer misunderstandings. Faster decisions.

Meanwhile, their bigger competitors were still having email wars that stretched on for weeks. Some people just never learn.

Why Your Communication Style Is Probably Annoying Everyone

Let me guess what you do wrong. Because 73% of the professionals I work with make the same mistakes:

You hedge your statements. "I think maybe we might want to consider possibly looking at..." Just say what you mean.

You ask permission to give your opinion. "I don't know if this is right, but..." If you didn't think it was worth saying, why are you saying it?

You hide behind passive voice. "Mistakes were made." No, mate. YOU made a mistake. Own it.

You use jargon to sound smart. "We need to leverage our core competencies to synergise cross-functional deliverables." Translation: "We need to work together better."

And here's the one that really winds me up: you apologise for everything. "Sorry to bother you, but..." "Sorry if this is a stupid question..." "Sorry for the long email..."

Stop apologising for doing your job.

The Communication Framework That Actually Works in the Real World

Forget everything you learned in that corporate communication course. Here's what works:

Start with the outcome you want

Before you write that email or start that conversation, ask yourself: "What do I want to happen as a result of this communication?"

Want approval for the budget? Say that. Want feedback on the proposal? Say that. Want them to stop doing something that's driving you mental? Say that too.

Give context, not history

Nobody needs the full backstory. They need enough context to understand why this matters and what they need to do about it.

Make it clear what you need from them

"For your information" – no response needed. "For your input" – I want your thoughts by Friday. "For your approval" – yes or no, and if no, tell me why.

End with next steps

Every communication should finish with clarity about what happens next. Even if what happens next is nothing.

The One Thing Most "Communication Experts" Get Wrong

Here's something that'll probably ruffle some feathers: most communication training focuses on the wrong thing.

Everyone's obsessed with how to say things. The tone. The structure. The diplomatic language.

But the real skill? Knowing when not to communicate.

Not every thought needs to be shared. Not every update needs to be broadcast. Not every decision needs to involve everyone.

The best communicators I know are selective. They communicate when it adds value, not just because they can.

That email you're about to send? Ask yourself: "Does this actually need to be sent, or am I just covering my arse?"

Be honest.

What Communication Will Look Like in Three Years

While we're talking honestly, let me share something that might worry you: communication in the workplace is about to get a lot more direct.

The generation entering the workforce now – they don't have patience for corporate nonsense. They want straight answers to straight questions. They'd rather have a tough conversation than pretend everything's fine.

This is probably a good thing. But if you're still communicating like it's 2015, you're going to struggle.

Start practising now. Be more direct. Be more honest. Be more human.

Your future self will thank you. And so will everyone who has to work with you.

The Communication Rule That Trumps Everything Else

After nearly twenty years of helping people communicate better, here's the one rule that matters more than all the others combined:

Care more about being understood than about sounding clever.

That's it. That's the secret.

When you genuinely want the other person to understand what you're saying – not to be impressed by your vocabulary or intimidated by your knowledge, but to actually get it – everything else falls into place.

Your sentences get shorter. Your examples get clearer. Your tone gets warmer.

And suddenly, you're not just communicating effectively. You're connecting with people.

Which, when you think about it, is what communication was supposed to be about in the first place.

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For more practical workplace insights, check out our thoughts on team development and effective management strategies.